This week: Knowing that your
body language always speaks first to women, you need to know how to
control this hidden communication and use it to your advantage.
*** Article of the
Week ***
When you're about to approach a woman what goes through your mind?
"I need something funny to say, a great opening line"
"She's hot, I hope she likes how I look"
"She's a higher class than me, do I have a chance?"
She's older than me…"
"She's younger than me…"
And all kinds of other fears that put you in a bad place, a bad frame of
mind that will defeat your approach almost every time. (I say almost
because some women are incredibly forgiving but they're the 1% you
almost never meet and let you get away with being a dork.)
I call this "The frame of your brain falls mainly into plain".
You make poorly distinguishable eye contact; you don't read her body
language for her "come closer to me" signals; your attempts at easy
conversation fall on her deaf ears because your confidence is so lacking
that no matter what you say it comes across as unimportant or just a bad
pickup.
When you can stand out from the other men around you, you've become in
control of your frame.
You understand women's
body language, and you understand the signals she's sending you as you
make your approach. Most of all you know what to say and how to say it
to transition from "nice-looking-stranger-guy" to the "guy that makes me
laugh and has my attention".
This is called "creating attraction".
This is what your goal
is with every woman you meet, whether it's a waitress and you want to
encourage her to give you great service, she's a store clerk and you're
going to ask for a discount, or she's a hottie and you want more than
her phone number.
There are three things you can do with yourself that will instantly
build you up, make you seem more confident and appealing with any woman
that see you and more commanding around other men. You may think that
you've been told these things before and maybe you have, but not like
this!
Eye contact
Smile
Posture
Now we'll handle these three important affects head on.
Eye Contact
Flirting, creating intimacy and maintaining a confident frame start
with how you use your eyes.
You see her and you
lock eyes. If you're talking with someone else, keep your eyes on her,
only looking at the person you are talking with in short pauses. This
"eye locking" technique shows interest, and more than that, if you're
talking with someone else at the same time you keep eye contact with her
then you are showing how you want her to be involved in your
conversation, how important your interest is in her (because you're
looking at her while talking with a third person) and as you keep her
eyes locked on yours you are intoning an invitation to get together and
introduce yourself and talk.
Smile
Surely you've heard of "Helen of Troy" whose smile launched a
thousand ships. And the "Mona Lisa" with a particularly enigmatic smile
that has attracted viewers for centuries. And everyone has seen a clown
with his painted on smile. These smiles have particular places in
history. But how does your smile rate? Could you "launch a thousand
ships"? Could you attract and generate an attractive aura with your
smile when you enter a room, when you meet someone new, when you are
with friends?
Yes you can, and this
is how:
When you are first facing someone, whether standing nearby or across a
room (even a webcam) don't start off with a big clown smile. Big smiles,
when your smile starts big, can be intimidating and a big turnoff, this
type of "first glance" smile can even be viewed as aggressive!
Start your smile
slowly, a second or two after making eye contact. Let your smile grow to
fullness over two seconds. A nice slow blooming of you smile is a signal
that says "I'm friendly and very interested in you". And this smile
works every time! I want you to practice this smile for the next couple
of days, first using your webcam, then with real people as your
audience.
You will be amazed at
the results you get all from a simple smile that starts slow and
envelopes your target.
Posture
Mother always said "sit up straight, no slouching!". We never
listened and we never learned positive posture. Well, my friend, now is
the time. I want you to first off start watching the people around you.
Watch carefully for who is popular, who is confident, watch carefully
for the people that command attention. Do you see how they stand? Head
straight, shoulders back, stomach in, feet slightly apart. In real life
and even on TV you'll see the same types of stances of people. The
basics of good posture are also the body language that commands respect
and attention.
You're likely sitting
right now. I want you to stand up, slowly. Uncoil yourself from your
chair, plant your feet firmly on the ground and slightly apart, push the
chair back while standing up, straighten your legs and back together.
Hold your stance and push your shoulders back. This is standing with
proper posture. This body language makes people take notice of you. When
you enter a room, this tall posture stance is how you come in and take
command of the room. Practice this posture stance and walk for a few
days and it will become a more permanent part of your instinctive
routine. And a huge part of getting people to notice you.
This
is the basic frame of creating an attractive body and personality. Eye
contact that is intriguing, smiles that are infective and posture that
is commanding.
The next step of
creating your frame is part of the "Double Your Dating" website. This is
a free-to-join men only website and you can get more information about
it here:
www.doubleyourdating.com
And if you want to get
the absolute best, most complete system for learning the best ways to be
more successful with women and dating, I highly recommend that you get a
copy of my new DVD/CD Audio Program "Deep Inner Game". It's jam packed
with over 12 hours of audio and a complete workbook... which will teach
you all of my very best ideas on attracting women. It's at:
www.doubleyourdating.com/deepinnergame/
Talk to you soon,
Robert L.
